In life, many events either make or break us. And I heard and listened to so many stories of friends, relatives and more about their struggles, trials, crosses, difficulties whatever you may term them. However, what is so enlightening among these experiences is the seemingly positive spirit that many of them were showing in the midst of those encounters.
A friend of mine shared with me that he felt terribly wrong and lost in life....felt so betrayed and despised. Losing his partner whom he has loved and given all was for him the most painful experience he ever had. All his savings were gone....his everything even his meaning of life. What was most painful ..an excruciating one...was the realization that the trust that he invested for those years was not returned back.
Then he told me that he now finds it difficult to trust anymore any girl. What was done to him made him a bitter person. All throughout those years, I have known this friend and I have emphatized with him during that challenging time of his life. All I said to him was "learn to forgive the person and forget the past".....however knowingly, I know that if I am on his shoes, doing that is not an easy thing to fulfill. Since as we wake up everyday, there would always be times, situations, persons and others that will remind us of the pain.
Hearing and recalling back this story, you can pick up various areas for growth like not giving up, learning to forgive and forget, moving on and many more. However, allow me to just focus on this element of acknowledging first the pain within us so that we will be able to move on from a painful experience.
That's exactly the words that I shared with my friend. I told him learn to own your pain and don't ever put then bury it on the deepest part of your self since in so doing, it will stay there for a while maybe for months and years however, somehow a time will come that it will re- occur in a form of a negative behavior like you being terribly irritable or impatient with others and with oneself. Thus it is as if you unconsciously building a volcano inside of you then without your knowledge again, allowing it to erupt causing much havoc to others and to yourself.
Hence, first stage of self- healing will be the owning of the experience and of the pain. Allowing yourself to own that this experience has become a part of you furthermore realizing that this is not yet the end of everything for you. Moreover, what you all need is to hang on to life and move on.
P.S. Lately, I heard again from that friend and he expressed his gratitude to me for all those positive words I shared with him. At the moment, he is now happy moving on with his life with another girl. Congrats bro.....keep up the spirit...