THE VALUE OF SELF GIVING

          Just recently, I did watch a movie entitled " SEVEN POUNDS" with Will Smith on the lead role. Just to give you a gist of the story, it all revolves on Tim Thomas (Will Smith). As a flashback, two years earlier, he was involved in a fatal car accident in which seven people were dead including his fiancee and six strangers. 

          Being at fault, he was so remorseful of this tragedy. He was texting while driving his car thus resulting to his failure to control the steering wheel and eventually hits an approaching van. To make atonement for such mistake, he decided that he will select seven people to save their lives.

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         Hence he planned to donate his body parts to the following: lung lobe to his brother, a part of his liver to a child services worker named Holly, his kidney to George, a Junior hockey coach, his bone marrow to a young boy named Nicholas,  his beach house to Connie, who lives with an abusive boyfriend, his eyes to Ezra Turner, a blind meat salesman who plays the piano and lastly his heart to Emily Posa, who is suffering with a heart disease and has a rare blood type.

          There is a complication with the last one, Emily, since he falls in love with her. After spending some solitary moments with her, he goes back to his motel and fills the bathtub with ice to preserve his vital organs. He then releases his boxed jelly fish and commits suicide. (Source: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0814314/synopsis)

          With this as background, can we identify events in our life that we became like a "TIM THOMAS" to our neighbors? Have we asked ourselves such question, "How many times in our past life that we became self giving to others?" Or are we just solely focus on our own welfare and we tend to neglect our duty of care for others. Personally, this moral of the story is very relevant to my life. In fact, it is always an invitation for me and for others to share the very precious gift of life. 

     

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         Nevertheless, accepting this challenge doesn't necessarily be in such a huge thing and manner. Being self giving can be expressed in so many ways like giving full attention and care to others most especially to those who belong to our household. Being busy with multiple things most notably with those trivial ones is never an excuse to deprive others of our attention and care.

          Basically as human beings, those two are stand out among our primary needs. If we value receiving them from others then we might as well be generous in extending them. Becoming deprived in any stage of life is such a lonely fate hence may we all become agents of joy for our neighbors, near and far, so as to avoid this tragedy.

SHARING THE JOY OF A LOVED ONE

          While at work, I received a call from a loved one excitedly sharing with me her recent success. It was a sweet one for her since many were attempting to be in that opportunity and she triumphed over the odds of claiming it. 

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          In life, there are the so-called spices to it like trials, challenges, tears of joy and that of sadness, ups and downs. And we all need to be determined enough to overcome those negatives ones and generous to share with others the positive ones. 

          At this time, I will focus on the element of sharing in a relationship. Anyway, what makes a relationship stronger is the bond of sharing between parties involved.

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 As the relationship progresses day by day, the sense of connectedness is further strengthened  by those triumphant moments shared by both individuals. Day in and day out, we encounter various life episodes that brought laughters and joys to our hearts.

          Such triumphs as performing well in work or in class, accomplishing assigned tasks for the day, being on time for work/studies, and many more are sources of joy for any of us. When I received that call from a loved one, her joy was automatically radiated to my self as well.

          Hearing her voice, it was so vivid to me her sense of excitement and extreme joy as she narrated her triumph. On my part, I believe that it is but natural to feel the same way as my loved one felt when she told me her good news. Afterwards, the more that I became energized and motivated in performing my work tasks. Such joy is so wonderful when it is shared. 

  

ON FIDELITY: SOME QUOTES TO PONDER

          Fidelity- what really is it anyway? There have been numerous meanings related to fidelity. Some may sound realistic and others tend to be so idealistic. As time passes by, great minds have shared their experiences and ideas with regard to fidelity. Allow me to quote some of those thoughts and share my own sentiments on them.

"Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose".

Helen Keller

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/fidelity.html#ySMhyu2Ihi51yJYW.99 

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          When we practice fidelity in a relationship, it becomes our virtue and a guide to sustain and improve the quality of our relationship until it reaches an unswerving stage. Whatever the nature of our relationship, it is our ability to keep up with our commitment that is valued. As shared above, real happiness means denying one's self satisfying tendency and rather, put in first place the other person's welfare. Although freedom is inherent in each individual, it negates the fact that one could just ignore the rights of the other especially the right to enjoy life. No matter how we present man as a self gratifying individual, he is still capable of reflecting real needs from mere wants.   

          Thus, staying faithful is in no way entertaining the idea of self gratification but rather, it considers on a deeper level the dignity and welfare of the other.  

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"That in affairs of very considerable importance men should deal with one another with satisfaction of mind, and mutual confidence, they must receive competent assurances concerning the integrity, fidelity, and constancy each of other".

Isaac Barrow 

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/fidelity.html#ySMhyu2Ihi51yJYW.99 

          The idea of self giving is what seems to be the perfect goal in any relationship. One should be constantly willing to make sacrifices for the beloved. To be altruistic, self satisfaction is relegated to be the next priority over the  welfare and the happiness of the other. Moreover mutual trust and support for each other must be met. Basically, this is a challenging one given man's complex nature which is both pleasant and unpleasant, rational and irrational. Again in order to meet a  relationship that is built on fidelity and trust, man needs to set aside, tamed and control his negative tendencies and invariably displays the desirable ones. 

"He who is faithful over a few things is a lord of cities. It does not matter whether you preach in Westminster Abbey or teach a ragged class, so you be faithful. The faithfulness is all."

      - George MacDonald 

           Faithfulness is everywhere and anywhere. Consequently, it goes beyond time and space. No  matter what state of life we are in, we are all invited and challenged to stay faithful to whatever commitment we are in. Being successful in maintaining fidelity within our relationships, we therefore detach ourselves from allowing any emotional distance between us and our partners. Finally the challenge  of maintaining the positive emotional entanglement in our relationship remains steadily present. 

WHY WE ALL NEED A SUPPORT GROUP?...

          " In a support group, members provide each other with various types of help, usually nonprofessional and nonmaterial, for a particular shared, usually burdensome, characteristic. The help may take the form of providing and evaluating relevant information, relating personal experiences, listening to and accepting others' experiences, providing sympathetic understanding and establishing social networks. A support group may also work to inform the public or engage in advocacy."- From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

          We all need a support group in our life. As the famous saying goes, " No man is an island." The sense of belonging is such an essential element in our being persons. We could not just ignore the presence of others in our life. Have you realized why we are created unique from each other? There could be many answers to this query yet personally, I believed that we are created to be like that for us to realize that we need each other. Nevertheless, there are several groups that we can claim as sources of our support as well as joy and to name a few, here are some of them: friends, classmates, co-workers, relatives, cyber friends so on and so forth. Thus it is very noteworthy to discover and to identify those groups which are making relevance to our life. 

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          We should not be daunting in life for there are plenty of people out there trying to provide us unconditional support no matter what is in store for us in the future. Each of our dreams is reachable and trekking the way to get hold of it is possible through the presence and assistance of people in our individual support group.We  may stumble along the way yet this will not hinder us to go on and proceed with our journey. There would be changes and even u-turns along the road and there could be distractions in any form however with our will and determination, reaching these dreams will be possible. 

          Finally, all my life I have been receiving support from my own significant group thus it has become a part of my daily  undertaking to communicate with my own community- the community that I love and which accept me in return including all my shortcomings

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